Sign Off

[RiverNotch]

I authorize God to immediately
charge my credit card the total 
amount owed. I authorize God to 
charge my credit card an amount that  
reflects my average lifetime
usage. I understand and agree
that such charges will continue
until my account is 
terminated or I revoke this 
authorization in blood. 
Should I fail to return my life 
or require a replacement,
I authorize God to charge my
credit card the appropriate amount incurred 
under the terms of my agreement. These endings sound passive to me; sorta bothers me, this. Then again, this does make everything seem more humble, or more empty, which I guess is appropriate; only, authorizing God isn't really in the hands of the humble, or the despairing, or at least, I wouldn't imagine it to be so. Hum...

"I authorize God
to immediately charge
my credit card the total
amount owed. I authorize God
to charge it the amount
that reflects my average
lifetime usage.
I understand and agree
that such charges will continue
until my account is
terminated, or
I revoke this power
in blood. Should I fail
to return my life
or require a replacement,
I authorize God
to charge my credit card
the appropriate amount incurred,
under the terms of the agreement."

But I'm not really sure (especially in the sentence "Should I fail..." and so on). It all sounds pretty good to me, too, and I guess the ambiguity in tone fits the speaker's rather wonky theology. Now what I'd really want to see as a response to this is a User Agreement thing (or whatever it's called) from the heavens.

Despite the rise of atheism, God is starting to generate a lot of interest...

Atheism ain't rising; glue's just running out. People seem to be realizing that their mouths are shut with only water-soluble solvents.