09-03-2015, 02:05 PM
Keep in mind I'm new to poetry, but I think this is an awesome piece of work. The symbolism behind it, like the first comment states, it takes a couple times to read to really understand, but when you get it you really get it.
As other critics have mentioned, a few words could be changed for the symbolism to prevail. And I think I would subtract a few words... But that's just me, we all have our own style and we all have appreciation for other styles.
I would change foamy aqua skies... Too cloudy skies.
And I think to be grammatically correct, "this plants' shield" should be, "these plants" Shields"
Unless you mean a singular plant in which case, it should be "plant's"
I don't know, simply some constructive criticism . I really like the idea of the whole poem
As other critics have mentioned, a few words could be changed for the symbolism to prevail. And I think I would subtract a few words... But that's just me, we all have our own style and we all have appreciation for other styles.
I would change foamy aqua skies... Too cloudy skies.
And I think to be grammatically correct, "this plants' shield" should be, "these plants" Shields"
Unless you mean a singular plant in which case, it should be "plant's"
I don't know, simply some constructive criticism . I really like the idea of the whole poem