we all started out at a similar point in time. if you stick with it it does get easier 
still keep writing while reading 
the edit is ten times improved. still needs a fair bit of work but now you're shaping the bugger.
have a read through it and cut out anything that doesn't add to the poem;
just some ideas how to trim down excess. you could do it in many ways. the 3rd stanza needs a re write and the poem in general needs to be more original. great great editing so far.
Revision #1
The light begins to fades,
shrouded in a mist of deception.
Faint shadows are all that remain.
The fire that once warmed me
now bathes another with its glow
as darkness falls around me.
Perhaps the light was never truly mine.
A phantom guiding me along a path with no end.
Where do I go from here?
I seek comfort in the shadows
where I cannot be seen.
But truth can be seen...and felt.
quote='BrokenSoul' pid='196080' dateline='1441025823']
Thank you for the comments. I have just recently had a desire to read and learn more about poetry. This piece is literally the first time I ever sat down to write a poem. I will continue to read poetry and practice techniques. I will edit this piece after I have learned a bit more. Hopefully I stick with it for a time.
[/quote]
quote='BrokenSoul' pid='196080' dateline='1441025823']
Thank you for the comments. I have just recently had a desire to read and learn more about poetry. This piece is literally the first time I ever sat down to write a poem. I will continue to read poetry and practice techniques. I will edit this piece after I have learned a bit more. Hopefully I stick with it for a time.
[/quote]
still keep writing while reading the edit is ten times improved. still needs a fair bit of work but now you're shaping the bugger.
have a read through it and cut out anything that doesn't add to the poem;
just some ideas how to trim down excess. you could do it in many ways. the 3rd stanza needs a re write and the poem in general needs to be more original. great great editing so far.
Revision #1
The light begins to fades,
shrouded in a mist of deception.
Faint shadows are all that remain.
The fire that once warmed me
now bathes another with its glow
as darkness falls around me.
Perhaps the light was never truly mine.
A phantom guiding me along a path with no end.
Where do I go from here?
I seek comfort in the shadows
where I cannot be seen.
But truth can be seen...and felt.
quote='BrokenSoul' pid='196080' dateline='1441025823']
Thank you for the comments. I have just recently had a desire to read and learn more about poetry. This piece is literally the first time I ever sat down to write a poem. I will continue to read poetry and practice techniques. I will edit this piece after I have learned a bit more. Hopefully I stick with it for a time.
[/quote]
quote='BrokenSoul' pid='196080' dateline='1441025823']
Thank you for the comments. I have just recently had a desire to read and learn more about poetry. This piece is literally the first time I ever sat down to write a poem. I will continue to read poetry and practice techniques. I will edit this piece after I have learned a bit more. Hopefully I stick with it for a time.
[/quote]