09-01-2015, 12:29 PM
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(08-23-2015, 09:23 AM)BrokenSoul Wrote: Where is my light?
It once burned hot, passion burning hot is a crutching cliche, and as others have mentioned, this lone doesn't work... perhaps speak to light as a guide, and the flickers below as loosing your momentum.
But only flickers remain.
The love that once warmed me, after being abstract in the first stanza, why smack us in the face with this bit of concrete. subtlety.
Now flows through another. i think you are trying to make a metaphore here, but what flows? love?
Darkness falls.
Anger and despair are my present.
My past was a lie. why so mysterious, what are you talking about?
So what is my truth?
Ignorance is my bliss, an awkward way to phrase a tired cliche.
But that is a facade.
Truth can be seen...and felt. last line is interesting, but the rest of the poem needs work for it to be impactful.