Late again edit 1 (Leanne)

[ChristopherSea]

Hello Keith,

Perhaps, I needed to see the original poem to better decipher this edit,
as I am having some trouble with the punctuation. On the other hand,
it may just be me, but I will share my difficulties anyway.

I think you need a semicolon after ‘us’ and period after ‘drove.’ If these are correct,
you should employ a comma after ‘asleep’ and another comma should be placed
after ‘tree.’

Does 'it's shape' refer to the tree? If so, then where you have placed, ‘…a pilgrimage…,’
seems off (it's shape is a pilgrimage?). Since, I don’t see a reference to such a trip
preceding this particular clause, the line is a bit of a sore thumb to me.

In the last line of the third stanza, ‘But’ may not be needed, as what follows
does not connect well with the previous line.

In the close, you speak of the force effect prior to indicating a crash. You only presuppose one
by using 'if'. Why not just, ‘Both legs broken,’ and finish with ‘that I knew to be true.’

See what you think
or tell me to get out of the fog!

Cheers/Chris