Amber Waves

[John]

Here comes the floating sea of Monarch butterflies 
The amber waves rush to milkweed near the cornfield 
Each spring they come beneath the foamy aqua skies 
Desire for this plants’ shield has made their fate sealed 

This nectar is now poisoned by the acts of man 
Descending, tasting their sweet safety unaware 
Selfish goals were behind the despicable plan
One by one fall, in despair, kings out of the air

Their decaying wings are perfect symbols of sin
There is no crueler way to kill, than from within

Hi, Mis. You've got some interesting imagery here, but it's conflated and the whole is consequently wordy. For example, Monarchs as kings of the air are also a floating sea and amber waves. And then there's conflation between sea/waves and foamy aqua skies. Mish-mash.

You could cut down the wordiness and strengthen the poem by not mixing metaphors and chopping out a few. For example:

Springtime,
and amber waves of Monarch butterflies
roll over poisoned milkweed.

That sort of idea. Punchy, and hopefully the reader will want more after poisoned milkweed.

In all that poem, you've got three apostrophes and nothing else. If three are important, then the rest of the work deserves properly punctuating.

Just a couple of ideas you may be able to use if you want to work them through the rest of the poem.

Thanks for the opportunity to read it.