Fairy-tales

[peacejazzspirit]

Do you miss the times of silly rhymes and charming fairy-tales?
 Do you miss the fun of plastic guns and boats with paper sails?
  Do you miss the same old stupid game you used to p(l)ay with dad?
   Do you miss the dreams that died it seems the life you could’ve had? I don't quite understand this line. Suggestion: "Do you miss the dreams (or fantasies) of the life you could've had?
    Would you change the way you left that day knowing, then, what you do? I'd take out then and those commas, put one after day, and add now to the end of the line.
     Would you change the words they overheard knowing there’s no take two?
      Would you change the life of made-up strife that now is all too real?
       Would you change the choice and used your voice not thinking you should steal? 
        Do you miss the times of silly rhymes and charming fairytales?
         Do you miss the fun of plastic guns now that you’re locked in jail?

Hi Misanthrope,
I very much like the idea of this poem, but in some places it's a tad wordy. Also a broader word choice would do the piece some good. Good luck editing, it's a nice piece!