08-22-2015, 11:15 PM
(08-20-2015, 12:25 AM)tectak Wrote: Through the salt-cracked, creaking boards,Hi Tectak - just wanted to say two things about this piece. One is that the use of hyphens works well in showing the see-saw rhythm of the boat on the waves. The other is that wild west winds bugs me a bit because I'm picturing the Wild West- as in Indians firing arrows at the boat. However, nothing wrong with that (!) as it could be just me. I enjoyed the read of this, thanks. Grace.
sea seethes below.
Round the storm-scoured, rust-crust rails
wild west winds blow.
On the tight-turned switch-back swell
a skewed skiff slides,
disappearing in the troughs
of tearing tides.
In the dim of dying day
a clay cloud cleaves.
Sunlight side-slips through the grey;
dread darkness leaves.
On the pier the public peers
to scan the scene.
No one is there, the ocean bare;
he was last seen….
tectak2015Lingua in maxillam



Lingua in maxillam