He was last seen…edit0.0000001 john

[tectak]

Hi tectak,
I really like the alliteration in your poem, so much that I read it aloud to no one in particular. It flows very nicely off the tongue. :j

Hi peace,
Thank you for tackling this one...it is tongue-in-cheek. The idea that one gets tongue-tied when reading a piece in one's head has always fascinated me...but you have made an interesting observation. I like that you liked the alliteration enough to read it out loud
Best,
tectak

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Through the salt-cracked, creaking boards,
sea seethes below.
Round the storm-scoured, rust-crust rails
wild west winds blow.

On the tight-turned switch-back swell
a skewed skiff slides,
disappearing in the troughs
of tearing tides.
 
In the dim of dying day
a clay cloud cleaves.  
Sunlight side-slips through the grey;
dread darkness leaves.

On the pier the public peers
and scans the scene.
No one is there, the ocean bare;
he was last seen….

tectak2015 Lingua in maxillam

Living on the coast I can relate to this and the not-infrequent occurrences of such.

The points that made me double-take were L4 S1 - my initial image was one of tumbleweed rolling though a frontier town. And the first two lines of S4 - perhaps the public peer and scan the scene... public being a singular entity. That may be just down to regional variations and mode of speech.

Overall, I enjoyed the subject imagery, rhythm, assonance and alliteration of this poem. Good stuff.  

Hi john,
No, yes you are right The piece is    but that is no excuse. On the peer/peers thing I am wondering if "On the pier the public peers TO scan the scene" might get me over myself. This syntax change then brings "peers to scan" rather than "public peers". What thinkest thou? You got me on "wild west winds". Where to put the hyphen?
By the by, for a while I considered a duality in the "peers" being a noun, i.e. that the public were felt a dread equality with the victim, but it was a tough contrivance. The piece was written just to stretch and yawn, so no clever stuff
Thanks,
tectak.

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I love the word play in this! Could barely say it untangled in my mind and would never dare to attempt it out loud (not a graceful articulator).  I reached the end of the first read through only to realize I was so focused on not getting tangled in the words, that I had no idea what actually happens and had to start all over again.  Has a sort of wake you up keep you on your toes feel.  Just one point of observation, the words are so fun, it sort of seems incongruous to have them spell out such a tragedy. It makes me feel like I was laughing during a funeral.  But, guilt aside, it's fantastically fun.
-Quix

Hi quix,
yep, it was written for fun so guffaw on If you want to test your bladder control, and I am not averse to self-aggrandisement in the cause of science, have a look at Memorable Service on this site. Funerals make me laugh, too.
Best,
tectak