Sitting Shiva

[ellajam]

Hi I initially read this poem last night and was really surprised with it and how fresh it seemed and within the first three or four lines I was part of the journey that was being travelled. And yeah it was perhaps slightly disorientating at first but I got there in the end. I would even say that the quick moves in the time frame not only made a second read necessary (a second read is always necessary regardless) but gave it another interesting aspect, like a sense of clarification. Like when you watch 'Fight Club' the second time, it's like a totally different film in some ways.

Also to be honest, I never even noticed that there was a lack of punctuation, which in many ways is odd because it's usually the first thing I would notice about a poem. So it obviously suited the style if I didn't notice.

A couple of moments were very noticeable and I thought added something extra to the characters, but I just wanted to clear up if they were intentional or not because I know that what seems obvious in one culture is not in another (British - American thing). The first one was, is 'the special kid' in the second line the same as the 'retarded kid' later on, and by same I don't mean necessarily the same person but the same as in, did they both have 'learning disabilities'. To me the shift was very telling indeed and effective. From 'special' a not perfectly politically correct term, but passable to 'retarded' a totally unacceptable form in some ways. I ask specifically because I have encountered the fact that Americans don't think that the words 'spaz' or 'spacca' are particularly offensive whereas in Britain they are classed as one of the most offensive things you can call someone with disabilities. But there is a whole cultural and perfectly acceptable reason why we differ over that.
The other point was when the speaker says "for his dad's brother" instead of Uncle, it seemed quite poignant, but then it again it could have been culture or a time jump thing that I missed.

Lastly, honest...   the first two times I read it I was still unaware that 'Sitting Shiva" was a Jewish ritual. I assumed that Shiva was the same Shiva in 'Shiva Shanti' so I appreciate the fact that you noted a connection and included the weed and smoke reference.

Right, honestly I'm finished now,

Cheers for the read, much enjoyed it,

Mark

American here. Yep, retard and spaz are both raw insults here, I had the same impression as you did, a jump from public to private face.

Immediately associating shiva with the mourning ritual Shiva never came to mind, interesting, thanks for that.

To the poem: Interesting read, Cuz, I still trip on car sound and paid up. I never get to the end without seeing the friend as the special kid. I may be going somewhere you didn't intend, I think it's the awkward attempt at dress-up, the lack of connection in dad's brother and the simple but true sum-up of shiva that gets me there, but that's where I am so far.

Thanks for the read, fun.