Bringing down the animal

[Keith]

Well well well Keith-

You speak well to the inner violence within us all.

My typical advice:  tighten it up!  I always see more words than are necessary to tell the story, and they usually subtract from the impact instead of add.  And this one could really pack a punch if pared down to its essentials.

Why not pack that punch?  Why not go for the throat?  Why soften it?  

With a little less this could be a lot more...
... Mark

Hi Mark
Thank you for the feedback, I will look to see the unnecessary words as you suggest, I do tend to over embellish. Best Keith