08-11-2015, 05:25 PM
does one colour, draw hopscotch or play it
i think you can play around with the enjambment, ie;
I was always running,
kicking up dust
clouds that smudged her work,
dirtying clothes mother bought
for picture day.
just a suggestion to go over the poem and see if it can be done better.
all in all i found the poem to be nostalgic and pleasant to read.
the first line feels a bit weak though...no need for once as knew more or less says the same thing
the couplet may not sit well with some but i think it rocks
i think you can play around with the enjambment, ie;
I was always running,
kicking up dust
clouds that smudged her work,
dirtying clothes mother bought
for picture day.
just a suggestion to go over the poem and see if it can be done better.
all in all i found the poem to be nostalgic and pleasant to read.
the first line feels a bit weak though...no need for once as knew more or less says the same thing
the couplet may not sit well with some but i think it rocks