Squint

[Cousin Kil]

SQUINT
Let a smile slide in the lines of
your look and a cig protrude in
upright droop, you got the
smile and the smoke in your lungs for
smoldering casually
it relates
And your eyes, they squint for sun
and pretty women walking while
your toke blacking brown
burns like wild
honey, smile for the camera
ain’t your type of phrase
and that relates
You and i, we have a small
feeling in our eyes
and droopin’ out our mouths, the kind
that comes by time spent with too many
pretty women;
you don’t know her,
but you know the feeling
-----------------
Wrote this last night, let me know what you think

Sounds more like a rap or music lyrics than a poem to me. I have the image of a sleezy character smoking a cigar on a street corner posing . Grats on putting the word droop and droopin in your poem that is no small feat haha. I like the feeling of the last two lines but I would put it this way: We do not know each other yet we know the feeling or something that would be inclusive and working to express the feeling that this type of encounter brings. Cheers

Hey Mark, appreciate the feedback. No surprise about the rap/music lyric interpretation, I'm a guitarist/sing/songwriter so lyricism pretty much permeates all my thinking and writing... little confused on what you meant about the last two lines though.
The encounter is between two men who have likewise experience with women, and the narrator is suggesting to the other that you may not know her, whether it be a pretty woman walking by or whoever, but you don't need to, you know what she'll bring to you.
Not sure how the line rework would fit/what you meant.
Also thanks for noticing "droop".

All the best, CK