Himalayan Clouds (Third Revision)

[Grace]

REVISED VERSION
Glancing out of a plane's window can be fun
as I was to experience on this flight
passing over lofty Himalayan ranges
which, inspiring awe by their continuity
presented to my wondering gaze
a scene of rare and ineffable beauty.
The mountains, enveloped in dense forests
interwoven with meandering rivers and streams
exuded the soothing radiance of green.

I think I agree with Matt that the whole poem in present tense would give it an immediacy. So, the mountains exude/are exuding...

In the sky above was going on
a panoramic show of clouds
appearingin myriad shapes and forms;
now aslayers of vapor surging forth
and now as fluffy balls floating around - wondering if you could find a different word for fluffy?
or nestling against mountain peaks.
They reminded one moment  -a suggestion is to personalise it and say "reminded me/remind me".
of a mighty lion looming large
in the distant horizon;
and another, of some Greek goddess
looking down.

All at once the scene changed into what seemed
a fairyland of clouds, encircling us on all sides.
They seemed to be mountains of snow
outshining the real snowy peaks
which they hid from view;
as they hid everything else: - replacement word for repeat of hid?
even the blue sky - -of the sky?
scarcely visible through crevices.

Ive put a few notes, above. Feel free to use/discard.
I think the revision is a better version. I enjoyed the read of this. Thank you. Grace.


ORIGINAL VERSION
Rising through turbulent layers of moist air
the plane soon reached dizzying heights.
Unfolding below was a scene of ineffable beauty:
the lofty Himalayas stood in all their pristine glory
covered with thick green forests
interspersed with meandering paths
carved out by rivers and streams.

But it was the clouds that stole the show;
now seen as layers of vapour surging ahead
and now as fluffy balls of cotton
floating in the sky
or nestling against mountain peaks.
They reminded one moment of a mighty lion
looming large in the distant horizon;
and another, of some Greek goddess
overlooking the scene.

Fascinating as this panorama was
it was a sight to watch when the plane
wandered into a fairyland of clouds
encircling it on all sides.
They seemed to be mountains of snow
outshining the real snowy peaks
which they hid from view;
as they hid everything else:
even the blue sky
scarcely visible through crevices.