Contrary and Captivating

[kakashi1090]

it seems there is no end to the love poems, is there? please refer to previous love poems posted here written in the same generically uninteresting style as yours. the spaces between lines make for an unnecessarily prolonged read and i'm not going to even mention the clichés here (as a poet, you should be able to learn to identify the classic love poem cliché either way).

i sort of like the ' i was child who questioned too much' line but in the poem's context makes no sense. even the title is generic. find something original to say about your love. something specific. in the category of love poems (there are so many of them that it makes this category very, very difficult to execute-- i rarely try it), it's better to focus on something tangible and human and unique, not 'you are my angel', 'my love', or 'constant obsession'.

i realize i've just given a bashing (lately i've been doing a lot of these-- sorry mods if i'm crossing the line ) but i do feel it's necessary for some poets to learn and grow in the right direction. i'm not saying this poem is awful-- given a harsh bleaching and revamping, possibly it could turn into something workable-- but this genre of poetry has been far overworked by young poets (in my opinion, a good love poem is the product of actual experience with the subject and with poetry in general).

if you intend to edit, good luck!

43.

While nobody likes being told something as personal as a poem written about someone they love is utter garbage, especially when they are seeking to grow, I do appreciate your comments because I am trying to grow. Affirmation that my frustration with my own work is the same as someone else tells me I have a good critical eye with my own work. At the very least it tells me I am looking in the right direction.


I assume by your harsh criticism you are trying to say this may be more appropriate for the novice level threads. If other people have a similar response to you I may move it there. Thank you for the response.