08-07-2015, 08:47 AM
Hi Todd- Haven't seen much from you lately, so let's have look....
My childhood lay behind me
in this trail of torn bread
I could no longer retrace.
We always ate enough good turn of the line
to remain hungry, our stomachs
waning like the sliver of moonhmmm? creates an odd image in my head comparing stomach-moon
that sparkled through the branches
of this darkling forest.darkling forest eh? seems like the wrong word (darkling)
Even when I saw the food
on her table, I kept gnawing poem re-steadied here
on the shingle like
a little mouse, little mouse.don't get the repeat, repeat
I still carry the finger bone
I once pressed into her hand
each night, while licking the plates clean.can't explain why I like this stanza. But I do.
The hunger had crossed the threshold with me,
and remained even
as her fat melted in the oven. filler stanza for me
We came back older than our parents
with gems that shone like in the fairy tale
of the girl who had them fall from her mouth
like so many ripe cherries.filler stanza again, for me
I chewed my words until they broke
my teeth, and laid heavy in my stomach
like forest stones.
I no longer needed a path back
for I never left that cottage. soft ending, I'm afraid
Not one of your stronger efforts Todd, but it can still hold up with some needed carving.
All that said, good to read you again!
... Mark
My childhood lay behind me
in this trail of torn bread
I could no longer retrace.
We always ate enough good turn of the line
to remain hungry, our stomachs
waning like the sliver of moonhmmm? creates an odd image in my head comparing stomach-moon
that sparkled through the branches
of this darkling forest.darkling forest eh? seems like the wrong word (darkling)
Even when I saw the food
on her table, I kept gnawing poem re-steadied here
on the shingle like
a little mouse, little mouse.don't get the repeat, repeat
I still carry the finger bone
I once pressed into her hand
each night, while licking the plates clean.can't explain why I like this stanza. But I do.
The hunger had crossed the threshold with me,
and remained even
as her fat melted in the oven. filler stanza for me
We came back older than our parents
with gems that shone like in the fairy tale
of the girl who had them fall from her mouth
like so many ripe cherries.filler stanza again, for me
I chewed my words until they broke
my teeth, and laid heavy in my stomach
like forest stones.
I no longer needed a path back
for I never left that cottage. soft ending, I'm afraid
Not one of your stronger efforts Todd, but it can still hold up with some needed carving.
All that said, good to read you again!
... Mark