Crumbs revision 1

[cjchaffin]

My childhood lay behind me
in this trail of torn bread
I could no longer retrace. good start, familiar reference
 
We always ate enough
to remain hungry, our stomachs
waning like the sliver of moon <--"like"
that sparkled through the branches if it's only a sliver of moon, would it really sparkle? a touch cliche and i'm not sure the simile works here
of this darkling forest. i don't care for the use of "darkling" to describe the forest, it seems strange to use it here
 
Even when I saw the food
on her table, I kept gnawing yes!
on the shingle like <--"like"
a little mouse, little mouse. why the repetition here?

 
I still carry the finger bone
I once pressed into her hand
each night, while licking the plates clean. who is licking the plate? this seems unclear to me
 
The hunger had crossed the threshold with me, wordy...how about "Hunger crossed the threshold with me,"
and remained even and remained, even
as her fat melted in the oven.
 
We came back older than our parents
with gems that shone like in the fairy tale <--"like"
of the girl who had them fall from her mouth
like so many ripe cherries. <-- "like" (this whole strophe feels a bit disconnected from the rest of the poem, i get why it's here but it feels disjointed and added on; do you really need it?)
 
I chewed my words until they broke
my teeth, and laid heavy in my stomach yes!!
like forest stones. <--"like"
I no longer needed a path back
for I never left that cottage. solid ending, though a bit predictable. definitely not a dealbreaker though 

hiya Todd. conceptually, i really like this, Hansel & Gretel with a twist and from a unique perspective. there are a few areas that i struggled with, but overall this has good bones (pun intended ) and with some editing could really shine (e.g. you use "like" quite a bit and that's a big stumbling block for me). thanks for posting!