Bridges (Refined #1)

[peacejazzspirit]

Go over the edge
Or across the bridge.
The other side a mystery
Until you dare to venture forth.
- The problem with these lines to me is that they sound a lot like music, I even had instruments playing in my head. After reading them I didn't have a clue what was going on.

A presence of those past lingers,
Like how Sonny's music soaked into the supports
And stayed there.
Curiosity beckons you forward; you decide to follow.
- These lines were slightly better, but I still don't know what's going on. Using the name "Sonny" which looks like "Sony" only made my musical affliction worse.
You take the first step, a cautious one,
Bearing your weight carefully;
The strongest things can give.
Will this be one of them?
- This is more like a poem. But I am not feeling the bridge beneath my feet. Perhaps the previous lines should be more moody so that I can get into the atmosphere and actually feel the bridge and not hear Ed Sheeran's guitar.
Wait. Is that it?
Original:

Go over the edge
Or across the bridge
The other side remains a mystery
Until you take the first step

This masterpiece is special somehow
Where it leads may not exist
Terabithia?
Or somewhere stunningly real: A realization? A confrontation? Or the birth of a new beginning?

A presence of those past lingers
Like how Sonny's music soaked into the supports
And stayed there
Something pulls you forward and you follow...

You take the first step, a cautious one
Bearing your weight carefully
The strongest things can give
Now walk across

The original one is a lot better in my opinion. It's less musical, more poetic, and tells the story better. I also like the last line more, because it can be interpreted in many ways so that it could even sound very unsettling. Both versions are good in their own way but I'd say the original is the best, although I'd still advise you to change that musical stanza into another kind of stanza.

Thanks for your input Tigonfre, and welcome to the forum! I know that "musical stanza" does need more attention than the rest of the poem, I'll revise it more so. But what if I like Ed Sheeran's guitar? In all seriousness, I am wondering if you're implying I should put the second stanza of the original back in? I've had a few people tell me completely different things, maybe I can find a medium.
Thanks, PJS