Berceuse

[Mark A Becker]

Hello other Mark-

I actually did have "strumming" in this one for quite a while, and may go back to it even yet.

My personal preference for "thrumming" is twofold:  1. I like the sound of the word  2. I like the tactile nature of its definition, as if the long ago lullaby is tapping on my mind.  That said, I did abandon it for awhile due to the other part of the definition of idly/annoyingly tapping fingers.  Frankly- I'm still up in the air.  Though I am swayed toward strumming (again) because I've had more than two people point out the negative meaning of thrumming.  

Also-  there is a two syllable word for a lullaby: berceuse.   I would use that for the title, but people most certainly will need to look up that word.  That would mess with the simplicity of the piece. So maybe not.  Going with "lull'by" would be more my style, if for no other reason than to invite trouble. HOWEVER- the Dutch meaning for LUL could be construed as part of the poem and I do want to avoid LUL being interpreted as slang for "dick" or "cock".

Thanks for reading and commenting.   The musical undertones were essential and intentional.

Mark too, or Mark II, or Mark B.... take yer pick



Hi Mark,

I like this, the first time I read it through I got a sense of what some people may call 'the universal mind' or 'morphic resonance' or even 'telepathy' and although I try and stay away from trippy-hippy-dog-on-a-string terms like that I still get it. In this sense the musical references are extremely appropriate and bring to mind terms like "being on the same wavelength" or "in tune with each other"

I decided to attempt to write a sonnet in monometer, and of course, purists may say that this immediately disqualifies it as a sonnet. 

Fuck the purists, pardon my French

An obscure element I introduced is that the rhyme scheme is A-B-C-D-E-F-G, suggesting the seven notes of the “A minor” scale.   Would anyone recognize this element?  Of course not.  But it was “fun” implementing it.  

Hey, a lullaby is a song, so I figured it might as well be in a certain key.  The A minor key has been described as “tender and plaintive”, which I thought was appropriate for a poem about a lullaby. 

Or A-B-C-D-E-F-G could be the D Dorian scale or the E Phrygian scale, but that's me being way too picky (and showing off I suppose). I don't think anyone would recognise this element without a couple of hints to be pointed in the right direction but I still greatly appreciate the obvious thought that you've put into this by incorporating such elements and it does make sense when considering the piece as a whole.

I was as much intrigued  by your explanation as I was by the poem which on the surface seemed simple and effective, just like a lullaby. I like the fact that you have put so much thought into it and I don't think that it has distracted from the poem itself, which can happen a lot of times when people overthink these things.

The only crit that I would offer is that the word 'thrumming' doesn't seem quite right for me. In every dictionary I've looked it up it is always associated with monotony which would seem to distract from the lullaby element, although they are meant to lull children to sleep but it's not through making them bored. A possible alternative could be 'strumming' which although essentially is the same as 'thrumming' it doesn't have any monotonous overtones and at the same time keeps that musical element going.

I was also going to ask if it were possible to have the title as a contraction of 'lullaby' like 'lull'by' so that it was two syllables like all the other lines. But because I'm not totally aware of the rules of making up or altering words then it's probably best left alone. To offend the purists once is bad but to do it twice might just be asking for trouble.

I dare you... 

Thanks for the read and the explanation,

Mark
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