Buzzcut Silence

[Turtle]

Edit.

there are no voices in my head. --- After reading the rest of this poem, on my second read through, I thought... denial?
just the brazen roar of silence
and an occasional scream. --- I dig this opening stanza. It's like the first line and last line make this wonderful oxymoron sandwich with the middle line as the fixings... that was the first analogy that popped in my head.

let's go on a rampage!
cue the music; this straitjacket
is going down.
(i'm screaming now.
can you hear me?)

we're running away from --- We? This got me thinking about multiple personalities, and the denial I previously spoke of.
sleep-induced tranquility
(it's like a drug, m'am) --- voices?
—heads collapsed, hearts
squishy with resignation.

there are tall new yorky cities
and stars painted on the inside --- I'm not really sure about this stanza. It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem.
of my skull, oily

brain's been dry-cleaned,
ironed burning hot— nothing left --- The past tense followed by present tense here threw me off. Comma after ironed?
except for buzzcut silence
and pervasive music
(boom,
boom...)

execute. execute.
execute.

my fingers are clutching angels
stuffing fistfuls into my ears
(i'm an atheist)

pressure is a privilege, they say,
drily --- I found myself at a bit of a loss here. I feel like there's something missing.

[[haven't changed much... i didn't want this to lose its intended freneticism. hopefully it's a bit clearer, but it wasn't my intention for this to become a straight-forward, to-the-point poem. still don't know if the title works, but i've got a better idea of what i want this whole thing to be.]]

Very interesting piece 43. I like the style of the writing, but it felt like a bottle rocket that went up in the air, and then didn't blow up. Once I read through it several times and let the flow resonate with me for a few minutes, I realized that there was a lot of build up and no pop at the end... it just fizzed out. This might just be me (very well could be), but a reference to the first stanza would be a pretty cool way to wrap up the ending.