Beasts of Burden

[tectak]

They've taken to vast oceans, Who are they? People or sailing vessels?
sailing vessels soaked in lacquer, Is this a suggestion of glinting topsides? For those acquainted with the sea, soaking in lacquer will do nothing for underwater hull preservation. I like the alliteration, and subtle consonance in vessels and lacquer.
distilled with broken fingers and Can't see the relevance of broken fingers distilling lacquer.
by men afraid of fear. Phobophobic? Is this an inverted way of saying they're brave?

Forsaking their ancient nature, Which was...?
they hail the god of cold wrath,
the lord of homogeneity, This'll have readers scurrying for their dictionaries.
praising their golden sun. Sounds like the god doing the praising. What if this line was second in the stanza?

They found new homes in old lands,
preying upon weakened equals Again, like the joint assonance and consonance in just two words. Isn't the word 'equals' a misnomer? So far 'they' haven't been considered in that vein.
and courageous hospitality,
only to stray from those words I get the impression that 'they' have never been allied to those words, therefore can't stray.
spoken by those who would save our world.

Abounding with trinkets, they are Are 'they' adorned with trinkets, or are the trinkets gifts or bribes?
bringers of Steel Beasts of Burden, Why capitalise here? Lord, god, and homogeneity weren't capitalised. And what are the beasts? I can imagine a shire horse, or a donkey, and even a robot.
chariots made by boiling blood, Can't imagine this.
silvering teeth, and hating love. Comma-splicing has thrown this stanza out of kilter for me. The beasts could be the chariots, and the chariots can be made of boiling blood, silvering teeth, and... what?

They stole the earth, written and justified, What does written and justified mean?
proprietors of stolen hearts, Sounds like they captivated all the maidens. Doesn't sit well with cold wrath, idolatry, boiling blood, and hating love. Too much incongruity for me.
they would wave fingers and noses, How do you wave a nose? I know elephants can.
while gnawing away at stars in the sky. I confess to being defeated here.

We watched and wept, With relief? Good that the alliteration has rolled over to the second line.
waving our hands in peace,
saving ourselves from the burden,
the beast,
fading away while standing on both our feet. Put the first and last lines of this stanza together, and who/what is fading away?

Hi, Turtle. Seriously, I'm exhausted trying to understand this. I don't deny that it may well be down to me, but then I am the reader.  

Free verse is one thing for me to come to terms with, but this poem has reminded me of the apostle John writing the Book of Revelation whilst in prison. Max Max didn't seem to fit, nor Viking invasions, nor the Spanish in South America, or even anything post-apocalyptic.

Without doubt you've had some fantastic imagery in your mind when writing, but it hasn't translated for me onto the page in a way that I could lose myself in. As I say, it may well be down to me, but any type of explanation will help me try and understand this type of work in the future.

Cheers, and thanks for the opportunity to read it.  

Thank you John. Many of your suggestions/comments, especially the ones about the unnecessary ambiguity and wordiness, are ones I am also concerned about. Which is why I've posted this sucker on the internet. I will review and edit.

Tectak. Thanks for the critique. I will take your comments into consideration as I do some edits. I was well aware of the many questions that may arise. I left it vague and meandering to see what people thought of it, and where the meandering might be useful. I totally agree about the overuse of the word "they", among other things. And you are totally fair with your comments (they are your comments), I do keep my poetic meanings tucked away deep inside a place where the sun don't shine...  
On a side note. It's not cool to make light of historical traumas/atrocities. It's not really a cliche if people rarely talk about it... the only dialogue that does occur is usually an avoidance dialogue. The Hollywood stereotypes are definitely cliches, but indigenous communities didn't have much to do with the development of those. Unfortunately those are the ones that get stuck in peoples head, and then when an expression comes from the source it often gets plastered with the overused, false imagery that's been perpetuated by the movie industry. I've become used to it, so please don't take this as some kind of personal issue, I'm simply clarifying something that is very commonly misunderstood.  

Clarifying? Huh?