Purgatory

[tectak]

I step onto a ferry, looking towards a horizon of white
and the brilliant radiance sets the night alight
But suddenly, a list of names is read out
My name is called, and I am thrashed about
Hit on the head, and thrown overboard
By none other than Christ, Our Lord.
-So to make a long story short, I am trying to describe the catholic view of the journey from earth to heaven. Those with undaunted souls take the ferry across, those with unconfessed venial sins are instead thrown overboard by Christ and forced to swim across the sea of purgatory to heaven. I don't know. It sounded like a good idea for a poem. I'm not quite done, and was just looking for some feedback. Thanks!

Hi joes,
as this is in novice I think it fitting to pass on some advice I was given many years ago...write about what you are right about but read about what you're not.
Sooner or later the two will become inseperable. Depends on the latter more than the former.
Oh, and don't assume your lord is my lord....reading may change your views (or not) but at least you won't imply that Christ is so easily confused with another chap of the same name that you need to define which one you are talking about...you know, the lord one.
Best,
tectak