Catch and Release
#4
(08-02-2015, 12:53 AM)Wjames Wrote:  Dads tackle box --- Should be Dad's instead of Dads, which is plural in meaning.
was a metal first aid kit
from the second world war.

Its bumps reminded me
of my grandfathers skin;
coarse and uneven, but warm and familiar. ---I like that you don't have a break here, but you could experiment with breaking after the comma to give more of an effect to the line "but warm and familiar."

He was a medic 
in the North African campaign 
before getting shipped back to Canada 
with a bullet in his leg. --- Although not a direct rhyme, the combination of campaign/Canada/leg has a rhyming effect to my mind's ear when I read it. I really like this stanza.

His limp brought a humble grace to his gait, 
and his face bore the smile of a condemned man 
set free.
I really enjoyed this poem. It's simple, and conjured some very epic imagery with very few words. The ending was well done too. Having a line break right after man was a good choice. It gives a lot of emphasis to the line "set free", which completes the metaphor in the title very well.
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Messages In This Thread
Catch and Release - by Wjames - 08-02-2015, 12:53 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by peacejazzspirit - 08-02-2015, 05:00 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by fluorescent.43 - 08-02-2015, 06:33 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by Turtle - 08-03-2015, 05:29 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by Wjames - 08-04-2015, 02:37 PM
RE: Catch and Release - by summermoose - 08-06-2015, 08:29 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by kakashi1090 - 08-08-2015, 04:53 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by Cousin Kil - 08-08-2015, 08:42 AM
RE: Catch and Release - by Wjames - 08-11-2015, 03:32 PM
RE: Catch and Release - by kakashi1090 - 08-12-2015, 03:42 AM



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