08-03-2015, 05:29 AM
(08-02-2015, 12:53 AM)Wjames Wrote: Dads tackle box --- Should be Dad's instead of Dads, which is plural in meaning.I really enjoyed this poem. It's simple, and conjured some very epic imagery with very few words. The ending was well done too. Having a line break right after man was a good choice. It gives a lot of emphasis to the line "set free", which completes the metaphor in the title very well.
was a metal first aid kit
from the second world war.
Its bumps reminded me
of my grandfathers skin;
coarse and uneven, but warm and familiar. ---I like that you don't have a break here, but you could experiment with breaking after the comma to give more of an effect to the line "but warm and familiar."
He was a medic
in the North African campaign
before getting shipped back to Canada
with a bullet in his leg. --- Although not a direct rhyme, the combination of campaign/Canada/leg has a rhyming effect to my mind's ear when I read it. I really like this stanza.
His limp brought a humble grace to his gait,
and his face bore the smile of a condemned man
set free.

