Bridges (Refined #1)

[peacejazzspirit]

Go over the edge
Or across the bridge
The other side remains a mystery (would read smoother without "remains")
Until you take the first step

This masterpiece is special somehow
Where it leads may not exist
Terabithia?
Or somewhere stunningly real: A realization? A confrontation? Or the birth of a new beginning?
(I think you should take out this whole second stanza. It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem in voice or topic.)

A presence of those past lingers (I like this ... I think things hold a "residue" of people's experiences. There is something to that whole walls have ears bit.)
Like how Sonny's music soaked into the supports
And stayed there (I'm guessing this is a musical reference, but I don't understand it. Doesn't mean you should take it out, just an fyi)
Something pulls you forward and you follow... (don't need the ...)

You take the first step, a cautious one
Bearing your weight carefully
The strongest things can give (I like this line)
Now walk across

I feel like this poem is a metaphor for trying new things, or something along those lines. The "sonny" reference is lost on me. If this is a metaphor about music, and crossing over into new musical territory, then there should probably be more musical references throughout. For example, if the bridge is meant to be a musical bridge in a song, then there are not enough clues to lead us to that conclusion. If it is a regular bridge, merely about exploring the unknown, then the sonny reference feels a bit out of place. I like what you are saying with it, just find a more "Bridge-esque" way to say it mabye? I love the curiosity and uncertanty of the speaker, a bit of a "Schrodinger's cat" situation at the beginning ... can't know what's on the other side until you get there. Maybe it will help to have one clear idea of what you are trying to say, is it a nature poem about bridges, is it a music poem about the unpredictability of jazz, is it a metaphor about trying new things? Is it all of the above?
Looking forward to where you will take this. Happy writing!
--Quix

Thank you so much for your feedback, Quix! The "Sonny" reference is to the tenor saxophone legend Sonny Rollins; he practiced on a bridge and even has a recording titled "The Bridge". Yes, it is about all of the above: trying new things, taking a risk, making a transition, or crossing an actual bridge. I understand your view on the second stanza; I'll do some editing and rewrites and maybe will have an updated version to post tomorrow.