07-31-2015, 02:04 AM
Keith,
This has a bit of a "Crime and Punishment" feel to it. The protagonist is also the antagonist, battling inner demons that he is appaled by, but has little control over. This poem is (I believe as intended) chilling and a bit uncomfortable. At the same time, I'm pretty sure most people have a secret something they keep chained up and tranquilized, maybe not always so dangerous when set free, but nevertheless damaging or embarassing. I know this isn't in a crit section, and this isn't really crit, I tried to ignore this poem because it was uncomfortable to think about, but I couldn't get the image out of my head (well done) so I decided to just embrace it and dive in. Long story short, I totally get this, and after reading went to go check on my own chained creature to make sure it had not escaped.
I have one question and one edit to add. The entire poem is "I" and the thing he is fighting is in his own head. Why would it be in "our" heads if it got free? Just curious, if there was a specific reason?. Also, did you mean "loose" instead of "lose" in the second to last line?
Again, really like this, in a shivery haunted sort of way.
--Quix
This has a bit of a "Crime and Punishment" feel to it. The protagonist is also the antagonist, battling inner demons that he is appaled by, but has little control over. This poem is (I believe as intended) chilling and a bit uncomfortable. At the same time, I'm pretty sure most people have a secret something they keep chained up and tranquilized, maybe not always so dangerous when set free, but nevertheless damaging or embarassing. I know this isn't in a crit section, and this isn't really crit, I tried to ignore this poem because it was uncomfortable to think about, but I couldn't get the image out of my head (well done) so I decided to just embrace it and dive in. Long story short, I totally get this, and after reading went to go check on my own chained creature to make sure it had not escaped.
I have one question and one edit to add. The entire poem is "I" and the thing he is fighting is in his own head. Why would it be in "our" heads if it got free? Just curious, if there was a specific reason?. Also, did you mean "loose" instead of "lose" in the second to last line?
Again, really like this, in a shivery haunted sort of way.
--Quix
The Soufflé isn’t the soufflé; the soufflé is the recipe. --Clara