Glide Comes Before The Fall (title change, edit #1)

[ellajam]

Hi, ella,

I haven't anything to add or detract from what's already been said, except to reference this little bit:

The pop rings out, it carries sharp,
a bullet through the magic spell.

You're describing the pop and linking it to a bullet. Could the italicised part read better as the sharp report (and dumping the comma?)

The pop rings out, the sharp report
a bullet through the magic spell.

Overall an enjoyable piece and easily understood.

Cheers

Wow, thanks, John, I was wondering what I was going to do with WJames' comment. Report is a word I wouldn't have come up with myself, I don't have much to do with guns but that's an interesting choice for that line. Thanks so much.