Mares' Tails - Rev. #1

[just mercedes]

First attempt at free verse.


Hi John - I know mare's tails, and skies that are big enough and wide enough to show them. Also Arabs, as a breed of horse, so I recognize the 'graceful flicks' of a mare's tail, and the storms they portend. But never saw a cantering wisp.

I like the way you play with sounds.

'skyfields' is great - 'ethereal beasts' with its blend of abstract and concrete doesn't work as well for me.

I'm a mug for velvet and nuzzling though. Good first attempt at free verse.

Mares' Tails

White chiffon wisps cantering
across azure skyfields, diaphanous
heralds in a rarefied realm.
Seductive hooks on Andalusian tails -
fingers beckoning to mount
and ride ethereal beasts
along impalpable aerial ridges.
Velvet noses that cannot be nuzzled,
no warm scent to savour,
thundering hooves conspicuous
by their silence.
The weather front drawn
by graceful flicks of silken ice.