Glide Comes Before The Fall (title change, edit #1)

[ellajam]

Cause and Effect or Coincidence

The view is fine from this close space
so near the tight-pulled patchwork tarp;
the bubbleheads are packed below,
each hat confetti on the mass. I like the close/tight combo, and the overall image.

I set my sights across the span,
align my spine, my shoulders squared.
I find my center, set my smile
and take off on my usual walk You could change one or two of these "my's". ("I find the center", "the usual walk", "with shoulders squared" etc)
with pole in hand, the wire taut.

Each step is sure, while one small boy I would move the "while" to the beginning of this sentence. Just personal preference. You wouldn't need the comma after the next line then as well if you were to do that.
whose mother thinks he is so sweet, You could cut "he".
gets itchy from the silent awe.
A glow of mischief in his eye,
he burrows round until he's found
the sharpened pencil in his pack
to prick his souvenir balloon.

The pop rings out, it carries sharp, I would cut "it carries sharp".
a bullet through the magic spell.
A pause, a slide, a wobbled step,
I spread my wings but catch no air. Nice closing.

Just giving you my lens on it, I think it's a good poem as is. I agree with others, the title could use some work.

Hey, W, thanks so much for your notes, they are a great help. I was close to lopping off the first line but you've made me think maybe I'll just rework it. Good point on all those mys.

I've tried to keep to a steady meter so those cuts would need to be swaps, same problem with moving the while. I'll try to clean it up. Thanks for the thumbs down on the title, each comment makes me think about it again. Maybe Glide Comes Before The Fall.