07-30-2015, 05:55 PM
hi joe, free verse has no rhyme or regular meter.
the main problem with the poem is it's an extended cliche, though my prick begins to cry is a new one for me
look at the last line. it reminds me of the angel speaking to the virgin mary. try not to invert the words. try and use some fresh images. plunge and bayonet are def a no no, as would be meat dagger
my dick splits you like an axe split your mother's skull
you can use the d word, the above is just an example of course, i shot the woman with a crossbow.
the main problem with the poem is it's an extended cliche, though my prick begins to cry is a new one for me
look at the last line. it reminds me of the angel speaking to the virgin mary. try not to invert the words. try and use some fresh images. plunge and bayonet are def a no no, as would be meat dagger
my dick splits you like an axe split your mother's skull
you can use the d word, the above is just an example of course, i shot the woman with a crossbow.
(07-30-2015, 03:50 PM)joesammsington Wrote: Sex is a battle, love is war
I lay you down on the floor
I plunge my bayonet into your soul
You make my existence whole
I let out a deep sigh
My prick begins to cry
You begin to weep as well
For a baby inside you will dwell