The Unforgiving Wind

[peacejazzspirit]

The Unforgiving Wind

A stiff and unforgiving wind,
blew through the meadow with a roar.
And swept the earth beneath it’s feet
while tumbling through the greenery.

I stand erect, intent on grit.
To face the unforgiving wind.
It’s force cannot have hold on me,
I will not yield, I will not yield.

The wind however did not cease,
and gradually it weakened me.
Reluctantly, I have to quit.
My body simply must submit.

And get swept by the unforgiving wind.

I must admit I am not the most advanced poet, so I hope my suggestions are helpful The last line... I feel like it needs something more... maybe "And get swept by" could be replaced with "And succumbed to"? Or, since the prior line is written in present tense, "And succumb to"? I liked the repetition in line 8, "I will not yield, I will not yield"; it shows determination, whether it be towards withstanding a real wind or an event that has a large impact on you. And then of course the grammatical mistake in line 3... but otherwise, very nice!