07-28-2015, 11:16 AM
Hi Brenkin-- lemme have a look and see what i can offer...
The Unforgiving Wind
A stiff and unforgiving wind,
blew through the meadow with a roar.
And swept the earth beneath it’s feet its (not it is feet) what feet? the earths?
while tumbling through the greenery."swept"? or "tumbling"?
I stand erect, intent on grit.
To face the unforgiving wind.
It’s force cannot have hold on me,
I will not yield, I will not yield.
The wind however did not cease,
and gradually it weakened me.
Reluctantly, I have to quit.
My body simply must submit.
And get swept by the unforgiving wind.
Not much of a story here I'm afraid. Sort of another way of saying that you're getting blown away.
There is very sparse imagery, and images show the reader what it is you are seeing/felling/etc... More images please. A lot more images...
The Unforgiving Wind
A stiff and unforgiving wind,
blew through the meadow with a roar.
And swept the earth beneath it’s feet its (not it is feet) what feet? the earths?
while tumbling through the greenery."swept"? or "tumbling"?
I stand erect, intent on grit.
To face the unforgiving wind.
It’s force cannot have hold on me,
I will not yield, I will not yield.
The wind however did not cease,
and gradually it weakened me.
Reluctantly, I have to quit.
My body simply must submit.
And get swept by the unforgiving wind.
Not much of a story here I'm afraid. Sort of another way of saying that you're getting blown away.
There is very sparse imagery, and images show the reader what it is you are seeing/felling/etc... More images please. A lot more images...