07-22-2015, 04:38 PM
Such a short poem, but it sure does pack a punch. I absolutely the wine metaphor, especially the "still" line. I feel like it really conveys the imagery you were going for. In regards to the "I am free," I think rather than it being a cliche it feels like you needed a way to end the poem. While I do get what you were presumably trying to say with that line, I think you could find a more exact way of wording it. I am free is sort of vague, and being more precise in your language choice could really heighten the quality of the poem. I loved it as a whole, very well written and easily relatable.