Nude Shell

[fluorescent.43]

thanks to Todd for a great critique. the second edit is up... i think i addressed most of the issues raised in all of your comments: the usage of fuck, a confusing train metaphor, water not being able to do two things at once (i decided to keep this as is), etc. i do think this is weighted a bit more in the beginning... thanks to Mark for alerting me to the fact that i delved into a bit of obscurity at the end. hopefully i've clarified it...? thanks, all!