07-17-2015, 08:45 PM
A poster recently deleted his poem claiming terminal embarassment. I leave that spelling mistake in to show empathy. Furthermore, I post this, my first EVER poem, in order to lessen the plight of those who believe that shame should lead to deletion.
Teach-in at the Youth Club…by a suitably Qualified Person.
This is a piston, it goes up and down…
It’s fixed to the crankshaft down here.
The crankshaft, you see, goes round and round…
am I making myself quite clear?
This is a valve, it can open and close
and this little rod is what moves it.
The petrol comes in through this flexible hose.
Look, in that glass thing…that proves it.
The petrol is turned to a vapour by this,
its technical name is a jet.
And what often happens, should your engine “miss”
is that this…er…the carb, is not set.
The manifold carries the vapour to each
of the plugs…sorry…cylinders. True,
in order to work, a small spark must reach
each piston in order…yes… blue!
This is the…don’t interrupt me I beg…
distributor, sorry…it’s not.
(Oh, blast I’ve got oil on my left trouser leg…)
It’s a…(damn it. I think I’ve forgot)
It’s a WHAT…it’s a fuel pump…of course, yes. I KNOW.
Let’s get on, please;I don’t have all day.
If you don’t want to learn believe me I’ll go.
I’m not doing this for the pay.
Now, what was I saying? Ah, yes…the spark.
It’s here where it does all the work.
Well what would YOU call it, for one extra mark?
A…spark…plug. Well yes, but don’t smirk.
OH? It is? (Damn clever Dick) How would you know?
You’re a fully trained up car mechanic?
Well, in that case you can take over the show,
I’m going outside for a …panic.
tectak
1959
Teach-in at the Youth Club…by a suitably Qualified Person.
This is a piston, it goes up and down…
It’s fixed to the crankshaft down here.
The crankshaft, you see, goes round and round…
am I making myself quite clear?
This is a valve, it can open and close
and this little rod is what moves it.
The petrol comes in through this flexible hose.
Look, in that glass thing…that proves it.
The petrol is turned to a vapour by this,
its technical name is a jet.
And what often happens, should your engine “miss”
is that this…er…the carb, is not set.
The manifold carries the vapour to each
of the plugs…sorry…cylinders. True,
in order to work, a small spark must reach
each piston in order…yes… blue!
This is the…don’t interrupt me I beg…
distributor, sorry…it’s not.
(Oh, blast I’ve got oil on my left trouser leg…)
It’s a…(damn it. I think I’ve forgot)
It’s a WHAT…it’s a fuel pump…of course, yes. I KNOW.
Let’s get on, please;I don’t have all day.
If you don’t want to learn believe me I’ll go.
I’m not doing this for the pay.
Now, what was I saying? Ah, yes…the spark.
It’s here where it does all the work.
Well what would YOU call it, for one extra mark?
A…spark…plug. Well yes, but don’t smirk.
OH? It is? (Damn clever Dick) How would you know?
You’re a fully trained up car mechanic?
Well, in that case you can take over the show,
I’m going outside for a …panic.
tectak
1959