07-16-2015, 06:29 AM
Disclaimer: I am new. Eat my words with salt. 
I love how this is a mondern day love poem. One thought ... I saw in a different comment that this is not about a one night stand. Now that I know that, my romantic parts wish there was something in the poem to that effect, like one more verse. Before I knew that, I loved it like it was. I do wish some of the rhymes were more complicated (I love the Honda/Anaconda one), but only if it can be achieved without force. That's all I've got for now.
(06-07-2015, 09:05 AM)staciamberdawn Wrote: It was a lonely Wednesday night
when you first caught my sight.
Sporting a shit eating grin
and a Rodin sculpted chin.you could place "Rodin" at the end of the line since it also rhymes with grin, and is a more unpredictable choice. Use jaw or something else instead of chin earlier in the line. Along the lines of "and the sculpted jaw of Rodin" or some configuration that fits the rhythm and sounds like you.
Your smile coaxed swipe right.
My future muscle bound knight.
“We should get a beer.”
My shirt is only slightly sheer.
Arrive in a lowered Honda.
Tight jeans vs Anaconda.
I’m glad I didn't swipe left.
First date turned pantie theft.
I love how this is a mondern day love poem. One thought ... I saw in a different comment that this is not about a one night stand. Now that I know that, my romantic parts wish there was something in the poem to that effect, like one more verse. Before I knew that, I loved it like it was. I do wish some of the rhymes were more complicated (I love the Honda/Anaconda one), but only if it can be achieved without force. That's all I've got for now.
The Soufflé isn’t the soufflé; the soufflé is the recipe. --Clara