Tasting Notes

[Todd]

Hi Julia,

I'm glad this thread got bumped. I missed reading this. Here are some comments for you.

Lets start with the title: Tasting Notes. I like it. I think it's interesting enough and it sets up the conceit of the poem. It also makes me think of mixing up the senses a bit (synesthesia) tasting something that you would normally hear.

I finally found the one to call mine,
who likens me to a drink of fine wine:--This is a good set up idea.

Complicated.--While I see what you're going for here. I don't get the sense of tasting notes. A thought, maybe treat it like a wine tasting and free associate characteristics the partner sees in the speaker in wine tasting terms, ending with complicated.


Still, he prefers me for the quality,
miraculously. With him, I am free.--I don't mind the I am free at all.
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Hey everyone! This is my first poem to post (ever, anywhere : )
I have some issues with it, but most notably (for me) is the cliche "I am free," but that's the exact feeling I'm trying to express: freedom to be oneself, unencumbered, etc. And of course, the rhyme works, but I'm afraid it looks like I used it simply [because[/i] the rhyme works. In any case, suggestions for that issue are welcome, as well as other feedback!

Other things I might have commented on have already been discussed. I hope these comments help some.

Best,

Todd