07-10-2015, 10:49 AM
Too much imagery and too many difficult words - it alienates your reader.
For example: "Like a feather’s gentle breath, kissing at my soft flesh." - would have more impact if you just wrote something in the line of "Like a feather breathing on my skin." The reader shouldn't have to ponder about what you would like to say. It should flow easily, there is a whole poem still to read and you do not want them to get stuck there.
Be selective with your adverb and pronouns - if you emphasize too many things in a sentence you lose your flow and impact, choose wisely.
Chuck out the dictionary, if you don't use it in every day speech, be very sparing in a poem. Great poems spring from great concepts that are elegantly communicated to readers. That's why we love them and remember them. If you can simplify and target your lines and phrases into one coherent thought, you will astound yourself.
For example: "Like a feather’s gentle breath, kissing at my soft flesh." - would have more impact if you just wrote something in the line of "Like a feather breathing on my skin." The reader shouldn't have to ponder about what you would like to say. It should flow easily, there is a whole poem still to read and you do not want them to get stuck there.
Be selective with your adverb and pronouns - if you emphasize too many things in a sentence you lose your flow and impact, choose wisely.
Chuck out the dictionary, if you don't use it in every day speech, be very sparing in a poem. Great poems spring from great concepts that are elegantly communicated to readers. That's why we love them and remember them. If you can simplify and target your lines and phrases into one coherent thought, you will astound yourself.