A Corrosion

[fluorescent.43]

a quick note and a question too: i've no idea whether this is "conventional" poetry or not (pretty sure it's not) because it's more of a prose thing. but, to anybody who reads this, do you think parenthetical asides disrupt the flow of a poem? i use them (quite frequently, actually ) and would like to know if anyone else thinks this is a good thing or not. i'd like a bit of critique (or a lot, whichever works- or nothing at all, that works too)- please and thanks!
i think i’m waking up from a cloudy, prophetic dream that exists only in the minds of neither tortured nor sainted humans
i think i’m a sleepwalker, a sleeptalker ‘cause why is there duct tape on my mouth? must’ve dug out my brains while i was at it, ‘cause my bloody hands are shakingThese two sentences/phrases could be two different lines.
i think the sirens cycling around me are sobbing quicksand tears, but i’m deaf to everything except for the quicksilver love ballad playing in my ear (...to this goddamned world) I like the rest of the parentheticals but this one doesnt make much sense. Also why are the sirens sobbing?  
i think the blood pouring out of my mouth are correct form would be "is"just the scraps of the words i would've liked to said to you (feathers, buried under the sea, fossilizing)
i think the breaths i’m exhaling are helium balloons rising to all the heights i could never ascend to at this point the i thinks are getting a bit old
i think i’m running out of time ‘cause my limbs are cantering, disappearing into an ungodly light and why’re there shadows spilling from my eyelids? (the words died on my tongue, corroding into sweet acid) dont quite get the italics here...
i think i’ll go out with a whisper:
(…and here’s to everything i never said, yeah?)  love the last lines, but could take out "and" in the last line.

While this may be prose-ish now, i think you could really pare it down, put in some line breaks, and it would be a beautiful poem. Just taking out a couple of the "i think"s or using a different phrase that conveys the same meaning would help the piece as is. I really love some of your word choice and metaphors. Great job!

thanks very much for taking the time to give me some critique- very helpful. i chose to say that the sirens were "sobbing" because... sirens are wailing, right?- i don't know, my brain led me to sobbing sirens. and you're right, the "i thinks" are quite repetitive. i'll be rewriting this now definitely.