07-08-2015, 12:00 PM
This poem is really amazing! It depicts very truthfully the inner turmoil of the speaker 
Well done! However I think that it's a bit wordy for me as you don't need "extremely" when you already have "so" or vice versa. But I really like the first three lines, I think that the metaphor of loud sound could be expanded a little bit more (as it's really good!) On the whole, great poem :3
Well done! However I think that it's a bit wordy for me as you don't need "extremely" when you already have "so" or vice versa. But I really like the first three lines, I think that the metaphor of loud sound could be expanded a little bit more (as it's really good!) On the whole, great poem :3