Water Colour

[danny_]

We watched the sunset bleed above the lake.
You painted its double in the water; i like this. i imagine a similar image of the sunset created in watercolor
your strokes somehow softer than the touch of your lips. it almost seems she's kissing while painting because of this comparison. perhaps could use the tiniest bit of clarity, if anything

When you were done, your cheeks were redder than the sky; when you were done... hmm, could we say "when you put the brush down" or something 'showing' done.
I laughed, and followed you into the lake. why did you laugh? but i like this bit about going into the lake. but let's use "water" or something, since we already know it's a lake. or change "lake" earlier to "horizon" or something else.

Don't mean to be over the top for this forum. The picture you are painting is wonderful. I wish there was more to express the affection and tenderness of the couple. I mean I wish there was a little more to see in that beautiful moment. Short and simple is nice but if you want to get my heart strings, I want to "see" more of this love. But you are very close to it.

Nice read.