07-03-2015, 10:26 AM
Hi WJames
It's a beautiful poem full of good imagery, but I'm confused who you are talking to. In the first line you say WE, so that tells me you are talking to someone who wasn't there at the lake, and if you were talking to the one doing the painting, why tell them the story over again since they were there? Unless of course you are telling the story to the sun who you followed into the lake with personification. But then I'm confused about the sun's soft lips. I would think the sun had anything but soft lips! So ya I'm a little confused....but that happens easily and often
It's a beautiful poem full of good imagery, but I'm confused who you are talking to. In the first line you say WE, so that tells me you are talking to someone who wasn't there at the lake, and if you were talking to the one doing the painting, why tell them the story over again since they were there? Unless of course you are telling the story to the sun who you followed into the lake with personification. But then I'm confused about the sun's soft lips. I would think the sun had anything but soft lips! So ya I'm a little confused....but that happens easily and often
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