From he who only farted

[Brownlie]

I love the two-syllabled 'patched', 'welled', and 'fixed' above.
The 16th century wasn't all bad.

Off topic? You be the judge:

The image here is a plate from The Image of Irelande by John Derrick (1581)
which shows the chief of the Mac Sweynes seated at dinner and being entertained
by a bard, a harper, and two other entertainers on the far right. They are braigetóirí
(professional farters).

A piece by Anatoly Liberman on the etymology of 'Fart' (which contains the above plate
as an illustration) can be found here.

That was a pretty good article, and it suggests that there are some bigger experts than me on flatulence, or the word for a clenched fart "fisting." Also, collywobbles deserves an honorable mention here. Yet, the article did not touch on the idiomatic development of farting as in "old fart." However, in lieu of the article, I present a famous example of literary farting that children are often forced to read. This one's from The Miller's Tale.

This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart,
As greet as it had been a thonder-dent,
That with the strook he was almoost yblent;
And he was redy with his iren hoot,

And Nicholas amydde the ers he smoot,

Of gooth the skyn an hande brede aboute,
The hoote kultour brende so his toute,
And for the smert he wende for to dye.
As he were wood, for wo he gan to crye,
"Help! Water! Water! Help for Goddes herte!" 

which translates into the following:

This Nicholas just then let fly a fart
As loud as it had been a thunder-clap,
And well-nigh blinded Absalom, poor chap;
But he was ready with his iron hot
And Nicholas right in the arse he got.
 Off went the skin a hand's-breadth broad, about,
The coulter burned his bottom so, throughout,
That for the pain he thought that he should die.
And like one mad he started in to cry,
"Help! Water! Water! For God's dear heart!"