Water Colour

[QDeathstar]

We watched the sunset bleed above the lake.
You painted its double in the water;
your strokes somehow softer than the touch of your lips.

When you were done, your cheeks were redder than the sky;
I laughed, and followed you into the lake.

I understand that the strokes is related to the water color of the title, and to swimming in a pond... but I think that strokes is a bad word choice. When I read "your strokes" Im thinking about dehabilitating strokes.... Strokes is one of those words that just doesn't sound nice. To me.

I also think that the poem doesn't do too good a job of painting a picture, but that's all the poem is about afaik... it's more modern art than water color... a spritz of color on a canvas of white. All of the we's, you, and yours fade the color from this painting even more, especially when one considers how short the peice is.