Their Thoughts
#5
I like what the poem is representing, I'm assuming it's about being influenced by what you read.
I think though that it needs developing, some of the lines seem out of place:
Quote:My head reproduces the past
in particular doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. This line implies that your thoughts are stuck going over a troublesome memory, not that your mind is lost in the avenues of history. Also maybe consider using a different word to reproduces, it doesn't quite fit right, i would go for 'recreates' or something along those lines.

I do like the poem though, i like the idea behind it.
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Messages In This Thread
Their Thoughts - by Mr. Creosote - 06-18-2015, 11:04 PM
RE: Their Thoughts - by FindingJune - 06-18-2015, 11:33 PM
RE: Their Thoughts - by Magpie - 06-18-2015, 11:46 PM
RE: Their Thoughts - by hopefularahant - 06-19-2015, 10:51 AM
RE: Their Thoughts - by nightKnight - 06-29-2015, 08:25 AM
RE: Their Thoughts - by jams01752 - 07-04-2015, 01:31 AM
RE: Their Thoughts - by Vastile - 07-09-2015, 06:03 PM
RE: Their Thoughts - by TheOnlyRedSmurf - 07-09-2015, 08:34 PM



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