Charleston, Et Al.

[tectak]

I have attempted to remove the gobblygook. Though, I probably still wouldn't read it to my milk man

In a church the sound of prayer is replaced by screams of pain.Just screams. Avoids the cliche and overobvious descriptor
The media is shocked. They say "how can it happen again?" It's not surprising to me.Capita H on How. OK. This is prose. They ask, not they say.
Every night I turn on the news, and I hate it.What do you hate? Turning on the news or the news itself? Clumsy.
Its more entertainment, with actors pretending to offer solutions to the worlds problems.It's. World's. This is tedious. Check your work. Getting ranty but impotently so.

I'm watching and feeling another victims pain.Victim's. You have used pain already. Find something new

Anger, violence, and mistrust stagnate any hope of peace You cannot stagnate hope unless hope exists. You can negate, deny,avoid, dispense with, eliminate but not stagnate
and cause racial tension which paralyzes our nations ability to move forward as a unified people. We are drowning in bureaucracy.Nation's. This is the last time. This is now preachy and of limited depth. Yeh, yeh....we have heard it all before. The sentence is so cantilevered past its base that it topples when you hang one small cliche on the end. Nothing new in this.
The government gains from these distractions because it allows them to pretend to do something.Again, nothing to commend this well voiced platitude. You are now gripped by a naive rant and you can do much better.
But really there is no compromise, no progress, no hope. Politicians are making things worse.So why mention this conclusionless conclusion?

I'm saddened by the repeated acts of mass shooting.Are you not disgusted, fuckin furious, outraged, desolated, demoralised, ashamed....no?. Saddened it is, then

Way too much them, not enough you. Too much apostletising (and if that ain't a word it should be), not enough apostrophies.
You pick a BIG subject but just do not let yourself in to the vast cavern of angst that it represents. You need to put REAL passion into any "protest" verse. Unfortunately, you may well think it has all been said before. The sixties decade just about monopolised this kind of affrontery but that is where the real joy begins....there is always a new way. Find it....you'll be glad you did. As it stands, it is just vanilla cream.
Best,
tectak