Haibun for the Morning

[Magpie]

I like the overall language here. The tone reflects the madness. I'm always a fan of long, well crafted sentences, but I think a few short stuccatoed sentences interspersed might help the reader breathe and digest better. 
Thinking of the spreaker-audience relationship, I think "whilst" to be an odd word. "While" might be more accurate for the conversational feel of this. Unsure. 
Thanks for the read,
Paul

Thanks Paul, I hear what you're saying regarding mixing it up with the length of sentences, I'll take a look at it and see what is possible. It's interesting that you bring up 'whilst' and at first I thought it was one of those words that perhaps I'd half invented and changed to suit my purpose without realising. However after looking it up, although it is classed as meaning the same as 'while' it is also classed as being 'Chiefly British'  which would account for why it sounds odd to you. Thanks for pointing that out, that's another quirk in the difference between our totally different languages   I think I'll change it to 'and headed for the door'.

Cheers for reading, even though it's not a proper poem, but I love writing prose and bending the rules 

Mark

ah!! these bloody foreigners with their bloody foreign spelling... I don't know... ooopss! did I say that out loud.
Wow is that the time? 
Must dash...