06-24-2015, 05:38 PM
Hi Chris, different and interesting from you as always.
I also wasn't aware of the narwhal but didn't mind looking it up, it feels like you knew that most people wouldn't be aware of them so it has an educational aspect to it. The sounds in "Arctic unicorns tusk" are excellent.
One point, even though I like the use of the word 'joust', I feel that the last line may not be necessary because the 'jousting' is evident from the title. You could even possibly have 'Jousting Narwhals' as the title then move 'through waves' to be the first line which then isolates the excellent sounding "Arctic unicorns tusk".
Just a thought, either way I love the image that you've created,
Thanks for the read,
Mark
I also wasn't aware of the narwhal but didn't mind looking it up, it feels like you knew that most people wouldn't be aware of them so it has an educational aspect to it. The sounds in "Arctic unicorns tusk" are excellent.
One point, even though I like the use of the word 'joust', I feel that the last line may not be necessary because the 'jousting' is evident from the title. You could even possibly have 'Jousting Narwhals' as the title then move 'through waves' to be the first line which then isolates the excellent sounding "Arctic unicorns tusk".
Just a thought, either way I love the image that you've created,
Thanks for the read,
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie