Stiff Drink

Stiff Drink

ChristopherSea Offline

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Posts: 845
Threads: 57
Joined: Aug 2013

06-23-2015, 04:55 AM

MAB,

I like the poem and see the gun. However, I am not crazy about the two 'out...'s. Also you could drop the 'hand.' Something like:

An eruption of outrageous red
blisters ceiling. White knuckles
clutch hot steel
without
feeling.

See what you think./Chris

My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris

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Messages In This Thread

Stiff Drink - by Mark A Becker - 06-22-2015, 10:37 PM

RE: Stiff Drink - by tectak - 06-23-2015, 12:52 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Mark A Becker - 06-23-2015, 02:11 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Todd - 06-23-2015, 03:25 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Mark A Becker - 06-23-2015, 04:32 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Todd - 06-23-2015, 05:01 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by QDeathstar - 06-23-2015, 03:54 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by cjchaffin - 06-23-2015, 04:49 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by ChristopherSea - 06-23-2015, 04:55 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Mark A Becker - 06-23-2015, 04:59 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by tectak - 06-23-2015, 07:25 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Mark A Becker - 06-23-2015, 08:05 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by QDeathstar - 06-23-2015, 05:04 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Mark A Becker - 06-23-2015, 05:30 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Todd - 06-23-2015, 05:30 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by Erthona - 06-23-2015, 08:30 AM

RE: Stiff Drink - by billy - 06-23-2015, 10:37 AM

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