Stiff Drink

[Todd]

Hi Mark,

Let me try to give you some feedback on your poem:

Stiff Drink --fantastic title. It gives us the right window to view the poem. It provides a way to ground the imagery.

An outburst of outrageous red blisters --I did unfortunately read the critique below which I usually don't do. I'm having a hard time seeing how blisters could be a noun in this construction. If it is meant to be a noun than what is the verb in the sentence? That isn't a huge issue for me. it works as a verb. I like the assonance with your ou sounds in the line. I keep wanting to move blisters down a line though and end the line on red. I'm taking the red to be either the color of the drink, or the visual cue to the experience--maybe inciting an angry outburst. 
the ceiling. White knuckled hand --I'm taking the ceiling in this case to be the roof of the mouth. White knuckled is a little cliche and expected. I get that the drinker is gripping the glass, or gripping something for support but there's probably a more original way to get there. The idea and progression is good, the word choice is just a bit stale.
clutching hot steel--Hot steel is a good way to give a sense of the burn, maybe playing with the idea of liquid metal, or something molten would convey more of the imagery. I'm not sure just thinking out loud.
without --I really don't think without has enough force to carry its own line. When I view it like this I keep wanting to just make it "without feeling" on one line. The idea is hot steel (should hurt)/(drinking beyond pain now) without feeling. It seems like it should be joined.
feeling.


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Just some things to consider. You have a good idea here.

Best,

Todd