Stiff Drink

[tectak]

Stiff Drink

An outburst of outrageous red blisters
the ceiling. White knuckled hand
clutching hot steel
without
feeling.


… mb

Hi mark.
Not enough to crit in this terse verse, in this forum. Trouble is, it sees like there's something missing between L1 and L2.
Sometimes the concentrate is less attractive than the wet solution. Some things just seem to boil dry. This is one example. All for brevity but I would rather have gravy than an OXO cube. ( It's a brit thing).
Don't go thinking I don't get the syntax...I get the blisters verb...but if you get this cute I will move you to short-form along with the Haikus and Senryus
The enjambment doesn't fool anyone. Why not put one word on each line and call it Linguine?
Best,
tectak